


Honey This Club Here is Stuck Up

by EveryDayBella



Category: Magic: The Gathering
Genre: Flirting, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, Pre-War of the Spark, kaya must be get so sick of them, ral is a grumpy boy, tomik is smooth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 20:19:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19116991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveryDayBella/pseuds/EveryDayBella
Summary: Ral has to get the Guilds to work together to save Ravnica. Attending a Orzhov party is somehow part of the plan. Coming out with friends is not.





	Honey This Club Here is Stuck Up

**Author's Note:**

> this is not what I was going to write next but I was listening to Wasteland, Baby (like ya do) and Dinner and Diatribes is just such a Ribbon Lightning song that I had to write this. Un-beta'd again so all mistakes are mine.

When Ral made it to the Tenth District he carefully did all his research before angling to join the Izzet. He studied the Gruul’s rage, the Rakdos’ hedonism, the Azurous and Boros’ devotion to law and order. He watched the Orhzov suck the life and will out of people just like him and act like pompous twats about it. 

 

The Izzet had been a natural fit. He loved his guild, he loved his city, he loved his plane. 

 

He loved it enough to walk into the jaws of the great bloodsucking Church of Deals in an effort to save it. 

 

Never let it be said that Ral Zarek did nothing for no one. 

 

The thing was it was hard for an Izzet Viceroy to get an audience with the Obzedat. He wasn’t in the business of selling his soul so they didn’t much care. Getting them to understand that if Bolas invaded they were going to have trouble collecting their debts was going to be difficult enough, but if he couldn’t even see them then it was going to be impossible. 

 

Ral didn't believe in impossible so there had to be a way around that. 

 

Which found him in the great hall of Orzhova in his best clothes (meaning they weren’t covered in scorch marks) without his Accumulator and surrounded by the Orzhov and the city's finest in all their opulate spender. The Orzhov loved showing off their wealth and throwing balls and parties was the best way to do. The Izzet got invited all the time but Ral thought he might have been the first one to attend in a long time. 

 

He was certainly getting a lot of curiosity. 

 

Then again there had been that business during the Implicit Maze and judging from some of the looks they hadn’t exactly forgiven him yet. 

 

Ral didn’t care what they thought of him. He didn’t think much of them either. Pre-Izzet street urchin Ral probably would have lightning bolted himself if he ever found out he would be here. 

 

_ Save the world, Ral  _ he thought to himself, fixing a charming, lazy smile on his face and squaring his shoulders.  _ That's all you're doing here. Just think of Ravnica and get through this.  _

 

Contrary to popular belief Ral could be charming when he wanted to be and he turned it on as he moved through the crowd of Orzhov, Azorius, Boros, and probably Dimir agents. He would have felt more comfortable if he had his Accumulator, but the Orzhov hadn’t exactly been thrilled when he showed up with it. He didn’t have the heart to tell them he was still dangerous without it, he was just more likely to bring the roof down instead of precision aiming a lightning bolt. 

 

It added a smug edge to his grin. 

 

There were ghosts everywhere, they were sort of the Orzhov thing. Generations of oligarchs achieving afterlife and artificial superiority unwilling to let go of their wealth. Ral couldn’t find the distinctive shapes of the Obzebat however. The oldest, toughest, wealthiest of the ghosts were the ones Ral needed to convince of the oncoming danger and the necessity of Niv-Mizzet’s plan. Normally they would have been lording it over the rest of them, but nowhere Ral went could they be found. 

 

He moved toward the bar, more for a chance to rethink his plan than for a drink. He leaned back against the glossy hardwood with his elbows. The Obzebatt passing up a chance to show off didn’t make sense, but that wasn’t the only thing sounding warning bells. There was an odd tension in the air, in the way the Orzhov members looked at each other when they thought no one was looking. Something was going on underneath all this polished opulence and Ral needed to find out what. 

 

The terrifying thought was wondering if he wasn’t the only puppet on strings in the district. 

 

“You’re not going to find what you’re looking for.”

 

He seemed to appear out of nowhere. One minute he had a little space, the next there was a tall, dashing man leaning on the bar next to him. He was unmistakably Orzhov dressed in white and immaculate, but noticeably different from his peers. His robes where high quality, but lacked the overt finery of the Orzhov. He stood out because of the simplicity. Its was a nice change and he wasn’t hard on the eyes. He had soft brown hair, mischievous hazel eyes, plush pink lips. Against his best ideas Ral found himself leaning in, smirking and not hiding the slow way he looked this stranger up and down. 

 

“And how do you know what I’m looking for?” 

 

The man smirked back, apparently unbothered by being checked out. “You don’t exactly blend in here, Ral Zarek.”

 

“You say that like blending in was ever my plan. Besides you stick out a little too.” Ral let his gaze settle on the mans white, unadorned coller pointedly. He got a low chuckle in return that made something quiver and tighten in Ral’s gut. 

 

“I suppose that's fair.”

 

“Do I at least get name?”

 

“Tomik Vrana.” 

 

Ral was brought up short for a moment. “The advokist? Tessa Karlov’s errand boy?”

 

Tomik shrugged as if the slight had just bounced off him. Odd for an Orzhov. “You might say that. “

 

Ral leaned in more till he could smell the smoky cologne Tomik used. It was nice, added a new, delightfully enticing layer to the odd Orzhov advokist. “And what exactly am I looking for?”

 

“The Obzedat to convince them to help you and Niv-Mizzet save the city from a mysterious danger.” Tomik’s grin took on a smug, all knowing edge even as Ral jumped back in shock. He really shouldn’t have looked so devastating hansome while spilling all of his secrets. “Is that everything?”

 

“How did you even know that?” Ral hissed, suspension and attraction battling. Not that it mattered. He was Orzhov and Ral painfully Izzet. Important things to remember. 

 

“A few contacts here, a paid off Dimir informant there, it was actually pretty easy.” Ral hated himself for how much he liked the spark of challenge and enthusiasm in Tomik’s eyes. “I expected more of a challenge.”

 

Ral huffed, wishing he drank just so he could hide the twitch in his face. He couldn’t figure out if it was annoyance or amusement. “I suppose you’re here to head me off?”

 

“No.” Tomik repleyed simply, pushing away from the bar and flicking his fingers in a “come hither” gesture. “I’m here to help.”

 

Ral considered not following, but his curiosity was great. He did channel some energy into his skin just in case he was being lead into a trap. 

 

Besides there were worst people to follow into a trap than an advokist with a very nice ass. 

 

Tomik lead him away from the outwardly public areas of Orzhova and up one of the towers. The hallways still dipped with splendor and opulence, but it was less outwardly showy about it. The corridors where quiet but for the chick of Tomik’s boots against the marble floor (Ral had refused to give up his solid rubber soles even in the purposes of looking nice.) He found himself missing the comfortable hum and pop of noise in Nivix. Its was too quiet here. Ral had no idea how anyone stood it. 

 

At the end of a short, curved passage Tomik stopped and cast a small spell on an overly ornate and gilded wood door. Ral rolled his eyes but followed the advokist, the air around him fairly humming with electricity. Through the doorway however was just a normal office with shelves lined with books and scrolls and a heavy oak desk bathed in the moonlight spilling from a window. Even in the shadows it was easy to see this office was stripped of the opulence outside. It was still nice and plush, but not as showy as Ral would have expected. 

 

He didn’t have time to absorb the fact, however, because they weren’t alone in the room. There was a woman sitting at the desk with her head in her hands. She had dark curls that framed her face like a halo. He couldn’t tell if it was her dark skin or something else about her that made her seem to blend in with her surroundings. When she looked up there was an exhaustion and sadness that was tangible in her eyes. 

 

“Who’s this?” She asked Tomik as he shut the door. The other man flicked a switch and flooded the room with light. Ral smiled when spotted the Izzet designed flameless lights. 

 

“This is Ral Zarek, Izzet...” Tomik grinned and Ral hated how stunningly beautiful it made him look and how weak his own knees felt. “What's your title now? Guildmage? Head researcher?”

 

“Viceroy.” Ral grunted and fought the urge the smile. Why did he want to smile? He had no idea. None. 

 

“Vicerory then. He’s the one who’s trying to unite the guilds. Ral, this Kaya, current guild leader of the Orzhov.”

 

“Wait, guild leader?” Ral hated being surprised and he’d been that a lot lately. “Where’s the Obzebat?”

 

“They’re dead.” Kaya deadpanned. 

 

“They’re ghosts.” Ral deadpanned right back. 

 

“Yeah, that's what I do. I kill ghosts. I took a contract from a big bad dragon to kill the Obzedat, but when I did I ended up taking on eons of debts which apparently puts me in charge.”

 

Ral’s mind was abusulty a buzz with questions. So much so that he had to take a minute and sort through them and he still ended blurting out the dumbest of them. “You’re a planeswalker?”

 

Kaya’s eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed in suspicion. “Yes.”

 

“Oh, don’t look like that. It takes one to know one. I at least don’t have to explain inner-planner existence to you.”

 

“You?” Tomik sounded disbelieving but then shrugged. “I suppose that explains somethings.”

 

Ral chose to ignore him. “So Bolas has you kill the Obzedat. Why?”

 

“With the Obzedat gone and most of the oligarchy unwilling to accept an outsider as guild leader well,” Tomik shrugged with a grimace on his face. “Even with myself and Kaya willing to join your cause, the Orhzov will only follow in name. We’ll be no real help.”

 

“But, according the Guildpact, you are the guildmaster.”

 

Kaya nodded and for the exhaustion that she was clearly feeling she was stable and determined when she nodded. “Bolas is dangerous and he’ll kill all of us if he gets his way. And as long as you have a plan I’m for it.”

 

“I have a plan.” And for the first time since he told Niv about being a planeswalker and the dragon didn’t eat him, Ral felt something like hope. A guildmaster with no power outside of a name and a good looking advokist with divided loyalties wasn’t much, but it was more than Ral had since Jace had run off. 

 

It was an insurmountable task still, but he wasn’t alone in it and for now that was going to be enough. 

  
  



End file.
